Isn’t it hard that when you finally made it home and you’re alone and you’ve left behind all the noises and impressions of work, the street, maybe the TV or radio, and you’ve longed for this blissful moment of peace the whole day… and then you’re too damn tired to enjoy it? Welcome to my life.
Home alone this evening, as my ex (with whom I still live at the moment) is off to a pubquiz with classmates and friends. So I close the curtains, dim the lights, make sure the cat’s comfortable. I switch on my computer and want to watch that movie, write that blog entry but I just can’t do it!
Sure, I am aware it’s the Asperger’s / ADD combination that’s dragging down my energy levels. I register every noise, need to catch everything that flutters by the corners of my eye, need to glance about me all the time to feel a little more secure, etc. Aspie brains are more easily overloaded then neurotypical brains. For me, entering a busy room is comparable to an e-mail bomb clogging up your inbox.
Guess what I need is a winning lottery ticket so I can build my villa in the middle of the forest. I might include a panic room for very extreme circumstances. And a mute butler.